Eclipsing HumBabe Teams

As Week Two started on April 8, 2024 for the HumBabe Dynasty, the entire United States went into a bit of a frenzy.  Unfortunately, this frenzy was not due to breaking HumNow news – while the Week One recap, and its newspaper-like format, did draw some attention, the audience was limited to 16 sets of eyes, plus or minus.  Instead, the United States was awestruck by a Total Solar Eclipse.  The moon blocks the Earth’s view of the Sun every couple of years, but each eclipse is only visible from a limited trajectory – so from your home, an eclipse is regarded as a very rare occurrence.  The next event marked on American-eclipse-watchers’ calendars is the “Great American Total Solar Eclipse” on August 12, 2045.  Tough to predict what the HumBabe Dynasty will look like over twenty years from now, and jokes about Shohei Ohtani’s deferred payments have eclipsed their prime (see what I did there?), so let’s relocate to Spain for a moment and use their 2026 Total Solar Eclipse as a point of reference.  As the light fades out on parts of Barcelona and Madrid on August 12, 2026, what will this HumBabe Dynasty Fantasy Baseball landscape look like?

Add 2.34 years to every player’s age and who’s left their prime playing days?  Utilize the handy “ZiPS 2026” projections for player WAR values, and who are the most valuable players?

If each current HumBabe roster is limited to just their Top 15 WAR contributors, based on ZiPS 2026 projections, the oldest teams in the League during the 2026 eclipse will be the Stars, Stros, Blue James, Splitters and Drillers – in that order.  The Squeeze and Say Hey Kids, will be the youngest teams, both averaging a player age of 27 years old – roughly three years younger than the oldest teams.

Those data points regarding age are all fine and dandy, but are the players included in each group of fifteen any good?  The best team, according to 2026 WAR projections, will be the Orlando Splitters, followed by Pablo, the Gatekeepers, Bag Club, and Jackal Attack.

Put those two metrics together and there are two teams that stand-out.  For Pablo and the Secret Weapons, the sun seems to be coming out from behind the eclipse and showing a very bright future.  On the other hand, the future seems to be darkening for the Lone Star Drillers.

Pablo is fortified by Julio Rodriguez, Yordan Alvarez, Aaron Judge, George Kirby, and Eury Perez, who will all age quite favorably into the 2026 season.  Julio leads the Secret Weapons in projected 2026 WAR at 5.52 (3rd best among all players) and will be just 25 years old.  Eury Perez, victim to Tommy John surgery today, will be a healthy 22 year old contributing a 2.97 WAR when he’s back.  The clear standout team in terms of projecting favorably into the future, Pablo ranks 2nd in 2026 WAR while managing to do it with the 6th youngest team.  The only question that stands out for this group of foundational players – can they stay healthy?

Lone Star just brought home a massive win over the Say Hey Kids in Week Two and will want to build on that for the rest of 2024 season because on paper, their roster seems to be eclipsing it’s time.  What fails the Drillers in this data analysis exercise is a lack of young top-tier Superstars.  Yoshinobu Yamamoto ranks most valuable in his age 27 season, but with just a 3.8 WAR.  Yamamoto at least shows recent movement in the right direction for this franchise, a successful 2024 FAR Draft Pick.  Spencer Torkleson and Brian Bello will only be 26 in the 2026 Season, but their projected WARs of 2.78 and 2.41 respectively, aren’t enough to carry a championship HumBabe team.  Brady Singer and Bryan Reynolds are both excellent contributors and were both acquired via trade – could Lone Star land a more top-tier talent via the trade market and dodge this eclipsing fate?

Pitching FPts

Ronel Blanco threw a No-Hitter on April 1, 2024 and collected 49 Fantasy Points, is that suitable?  Compare it to Tyler Glasnow’s 14-K performance for the London Bag Club in Week Two, worth 40.5 Fantasy Points.  And for additional context, let’s look at two of the Commissioner’s favorite All-Time pitching performances and their translated HumBabe value.  

Kerry Wood struck out twenty Houston Astros in nine innings on May 6, 1998, but Ricky Gutierrez kept it from being a no-hitter with his infield single in the 3rd inning, so no 20-FPt bonus for Kerry Wood here.  The final stat line: 9 IP, 1 QS, 1 W, 0 BB, 20 Ks, 1 CG earns 55.5 FPts in the HumBabe Dynasty today, +6.5 more than Blanco’s No-Hitter.

Arguably the best pitching performance of All-Time, Jack Morris beat John Smoltz in Game 7 of the 1991 World Series with a 10 IP, 1 QS, 1 W, 2 BB, 8 Ks, 1 CG stat line.  Only 31.5 HumBabe Fantasy Points for this gem is an absolute robbery – but the fact of the matter is, Morris’s outing was unbelievable because of the moment it took place in, not the stat line it produced.  

An unfortunate reality here is that being a baseball fan and being a Fantasy Baseball General Manager are two different experiences.  Fantasy sports are oriented to reward box score performances, not big-moments.  Nonetheless, these four pitching performances, compared side-by-side, beg the question – is a strikeout worth the two-point nod it’s always gotten in HumBabe, or is there a better way to reward a pitcher’s outing?

Buy or Sell, Mike Trout?

The Eastside Bombers are off to a screaming start here in 2024.  Victories over Pablo and Nashville puts Eastside as one of the four remaining undefeated HumBabe teams – one of which is their division rival Wally Mash.  Mike Trout certainly leads the Bombers, but Teoscar Hernandez, Anthony Volpe, and Manny Machado have managed to collect more fantasy points than Trout’s hot start.  Michael King, a 2024 FAR Draft Pick, leads the Bomber’s pitching staff with his 13.5 FPts/G, but as a group they have been the 3rd worst in the League to this point.

Mike Trout is 32 years old and contracted through his age 40 season with the Los Angeles Angels (boring).  Draw comparison to Barry Bonds who hit 28 HRs with a .276 AVG in his age 42 season, and you’ll feel just fine about Mike Trout aging over the next few years.  But if you look to Ken Griffey Jr.’s age 40 season and the .184 AVG it produced in just 33 games, and you’ll be jumping ship.

Could anybody truly stomach parting ways with the greatest player of a generation via trade?  Would you ever feel like you were getting enough in return for The-Mike-Trout?  Well, the Eastside Bomber’s GM has voiced that he’s at least interested in hearing what the market has to offer – so let’s look at some potential trade suitors.

Mike Trout would have to move to a 2024 HumBabe contender – and based on the Preseason Power Rankings, potential suitors would include: Orlando Splitters (2-0), Say Hey Kids (0-2), LeBronto Blue James (1-1), Golden City Gatekeepers (1-1).

The awful news that Spencer Strider now joins the extensive list of injured Splitters (Gerrit Cole, Shane Bieber, Justin Verlander, Josh Lowe, Alex Cobb, Taijuan Walker) may just send this General Manager over-the-edge.  Strider’s injury gives reason to rely more on the ‘25 or ‘26 Seasons than 2024 for a Championship run, but Orlando’s experience with losing to underdogs combined with their hot 2-0 start and League-Best Point Total … maybe acquiring Mike Trout for Spencer Strider is the solution instead?

The Say Hey Kids could flip a developing Jackson Chourio for the certainty of Mike Trout, but does that pay off enough in the immediate future for the long-term cost?

The LeBronto Blue James could send fireballer Mason Miller and catching prospect Samuel Bassallo to Eastside’s system to pair Mike Trout with Kyle Tucker and Byron Buxton in the LeBronto outfield.  But is that enough fantasy value on the Eastside end of this deal?

If you were the General Manager of the Golden City Gatekeepers, would you part with Jackson Holliday for Mike Trout?

These questions are never easy – especially when a player of Mike Trout’s caliber is involved.  What is Mike Trout worth in the HumBabe Dynasty market?  With Eastside’s interest in selling him this season, we may just find that answer out.